Jen, My fiancé and I are different faiths. I am a Catholic & he is a born again christian. I know religion or faith is not something you are supposed to talk about but his beliefs are much different than mine. He now doesn’t want to have sex with me due to his faith but we have already had sex. I’m confused and I honestly think that someone in his life is giving him advice about this and it is affecting me mentally at this point. He has children already and says he doesn’t want his children to find out he is having sex. I am torn here. We haven’t set a date and have been engaged for a year and a half. Please say something encouraging! Sheila
Hey Sheila-
Well, first of all you have been engaged for a year and a half and haven’t set a date? In my opinion that isn’t the best sign- are you dragging your feet or is he? Usually happily engaged couples get married at most a year and a half from becoming engaged. Yours could be the exception & I’m crossing my fingers for you!
You aren’t supposed to talk about faith or religion?? ummm you are marrying this man- this needs to be talked about before you got engaged but since it wasn’t then let’s do this asap. Born again Christians and Catholics are the same faith but very different beliefs of course. I’m not an expert in religion so I won’t go into that and I don’t know if I’m politically correct by saying certain things. There absolutely is someone influencing his decision about religion especially with that drastic change. Beliefs is one of those things that will be a deal breaker if not addressed. You need to talk to him about this. Also, why would his children find out he is having sex??? Doesn’t he have a lock on his door??? OHHH this is such a sticky situation & I think I’m bringing more things to light for you. I’m hoping this can be more eye opening now. I wish you the best of luck! Remember communication is EVERYTHING. I’m sure you will sort this out with him. Hugs!!
QJen
What is your opinion on Sheila’s situation?? Comment below 🙂
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Hi QJen, it doesn’t look good I am afraid. At this time and age I think what he’s saying is rubbish and he’s trying feeble excuses to get out of his commitment! Communication is certainly essential IF he communicates….
Best regards,
Beth
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I agree Beth!! He is making excuses.
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Its good you mentions that he is a born again Christian. I won’t want to question your belief but like Jen said, being a Catholic and being born again is being of same faith; both are Christians and they operate using the bible and the bible clearly states that sex out of wedlock is a sin which the bible calls fornication and being a Catholic you should know this (see 1 Corinthians 6:18-20).
Communication is the root of all relationships, without communication, relationships crumble. You need to talk to him about his believes and yours, do not guess, do not shy away from it, ask him questions, you guys need to sit and talk about it.
It is possible he has been a kind of support to his kids spiritually. He might be helping them grow in faith by guiding them and teaching them the words of God and them finding out he’s having sex out of wedlock which is a sin can damage this which he obviously does not want.
All you need to do is to talk to him about your fears and your believes. You guys need to work things out, they won’t work out themselves and we over here can’t work it out for you. You need to talk to him about your belief, about the relationship and where it is heading to.
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exactly Tola- they need to actually work it out. 🙂
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