Dear Jen, I am a serial first dater meaning I really only have first dates. I rarely have a second. I’ve Been told I’m only focused on my career and the guys don’t think I have time to commit to love. I’ve also been told that it consumes me and I take my work with me on dates. I’m a teacher and only work 8am-3pm. Of course I do have to grade papers and so on but I really don’t think I take it on my dates. Can you give me a tip to score the second date. Haleigh
Hey Haleigh!! Thanks for writing! We have to fix what happens on the first date and figure out what is going on. Firstly, I haven’t had a chance to observe your first dates or any of your dates but I have an idea of what is going on. I have to say that I love teachers! Being a teacher your are extremely selfless and put others before yourself. You are mainly security minded with friends & family being first priority. What I have observed from having many friends that are teachers as well as much feedback from men about teachers is…. You do bring your work home and on dates. Not in the sense of you are sipping a martini and grading papers but in the sense that you have a habit of not being able to turn it off and talking about your work a lot. I’ve heard from men that when they go out with teachers on dates–that the teacher constantly talks about their students. Now that is a good thing but there is a time and a place and it definitely isn’t on the first several dates.
To turn off your work you will need to practice turning it off in your head. It will take time but you can do it! When you are having a thought of work just say to yourself “not now but later”. You can always chat about work with your work friends. Now by doing this I know you will score more second dates. Remember to listen more and ask him questions about himself. It’s amazing what great conversations we have when we listen more than talk.